Necklace in the Well

• What issue do you have?
• Do you even know what it is anymore?
• Has your issue been buried by other problems and unhealthy coping mechanisms?

Are you at a point where you just want to be numb? Let me tell you about the necklace in the well:

• There is a necklace at the bottom of a well, which is full of water. The necklace represents your issue (being raped, neglected as a child, abusive life, or a traumatic event, etc.).
• You go to the well and the necklace accidentally drops into the well and it drops to the bottom. You are not sure how to get it out, but realize to get it that you might get hurt doing it and you would get all wet, so you decide to let it stay there.
• Every now and then you go and look inside the well and you see the necklace has started to change in appearance.

Over the years you notice that you can barely see your necklace, as there have been other things that were thrown into the well. A few more years pass and you can no longer see your necklace as there is a cloud in the water from the muck and mire and other debris that made its way into the well. You then think to yourself, "If I had only gotten my necklace when it fell, it wouldn't be ruined and I would have."

Your problem is like the necklace. Whatever the traumatic issue was, it has become buried by other things; buried by other problems as a result of the 'real issue' (unhealthy coping mechanisms such as cutting, drinking, drugs, anorexic or bulimic behavior). It can get buried by turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as harming your body by cutting, burning, hair-pulling, drinking, drugs, developing an eating disorder, etc.

The issue will not go away by avoiding it. By letting your problem just sit at the bottom of the well, it is only going to get covered up and cluttered by other things, soon you may not even know what the real issue is because so many other problems have risen as a result of never dealing with the issue from the beginning.

Had the necklace been taken out of the well as soon as it was dropped, you could have done with it what you wanted, rather than having it get all tainted. Thinking about the work that would go into getting the necklace may have seemed more tedious than it was worth, as you may not have thought how it would affect you in the long run.

Thinking about the work that would go into facing your issue and getting it out of your mind and heart may seem more overwhelming than just to leave it buried there.

Just like the necklace, the issue gets covered up by being left there. Now, in order to get to the necklace you have to go through all the other junk to get to it, but that is where you take it at your own pace, a little accomplishment at a time.

All things are possible to those that believe, you just gotta believe!

Necklace In The Well written by Vicki F. Duffy